This article is part one of a four-part series. Four couples from varying backgrounds discuss how they keep their relationships healthy and solid. The original version of this article appears in the May 15, 2021 issue of Queen Things Online Magazine.
The State of Black Marriage in America
According to statistics from Black Demographics.com the incidence of Black marriage has been on the decline for decades.
"In 2019, only 30% of African Americans were married compared to 48% of all Americans. Half or 50% of African Americans have never been married compared to 34% of all Americans."
Despite what the numbers say, we found four couples who have defied the odds and stayed strong through situations that have taken many other marriages down, including family dramas, breakups, and COVID loss. These four brave couples share the philosophies that keep them strong, the plans they have for the future, and the lessons they have learned along the way.
Black Love: The Right Blend
Monte and LaQuitha Hasley seem to personify the epitome of Black love. They laugh together, honor each other, create a loving home, and keep God first. Still, they say this did not come without a lot of hard work, and a few serious growing pains along the way.
When Monte and LaQuitha Hasley discuss what their first conversation was like, they are all smiles. Monte sits quietly, attentively listening to his wife of twelve years recount the early days of their relationship. She says that conversations with her husband-to-be were easy and familiar from the very start.
During their first phone conversation, the Hasleys learned that they had several things in common, having attended the same junior college five years apart and being of the same faith being two of the most important things they learned.
After a dozen years of marriage, this couple has learned a lot about how to navigate a blended family situation. As you can probably imagine, that education did not come without its fair share of growing pains along the way. LaQuitha already had two biological children of her own when they met, and Monte had two daughters and a son, who always looked like a carbon copy of his dad to me.
Both Monte and LaQuitha agree that there are some parenting decisions they made while raising their five children that they might not have made had they known their children's true feelings about blending the two families into one.
It's not uncommon for us to recall moments in life that have more than just a little significance. We asked the couple about the moment they knew they had found the right partner for life. LaQuitha says that when she met Monte, she was not seeking a relationship. She had made a conscious decision to take some time to determine exactly what it was that she wanted.
Having left an abusive past relationship, her focus was on not ever allowing her children to be subjected to that trauma again. Meeting and getting to know Monte meant she would be faced with learning to trust and depend on someone else. Obviously, the choice to allow him to be that person was a good one, and Monte couldn't have agreed more. For him, becoming the man she would eventually love unconditionally, meant making sure she was provided for and happy in those provisions.
See the full interview with Monte and LaQuitha in the upcoming documentary series, "Just Love: Why We Stay Strong".
Elizabeth Thomas is an educator, writer, publisher, entrepreneur, and change agent. She has published three volumes of poetry and two children's books. You can find them at https://www.latterrainpublishing.com/online-store. She is also the Editor-in-Chief for Queen Things Online Magazine. latterrainpublishing.wixsite.com/queenthingszine. Find Elizabeth on social media at: www.facebook.com/dueseasonwriters, www.instagram.com/essentialeme, www.twitter.com/essentialeme, www.linkedin.com//in/ethomasmpl/
The Queen's List
The Queen's List includes music videos, movies, documentaries, and T.V. shows that have been chosen as favorites by the Queen Things staff. We invite you to join the party!
OLD SCHOOL MUSIC VIDEOS
April 18 Issue
May 15 Issue
SUGGESTED STREAMING
April 18 Issue
Get on UP - 2014 Chadwick Boseman
A Love Song for LaTasha - 2020
Thunder Force - 2021 Octavia Spencer, Melissa McCarthy
The Innocence Files - 2020
May 15 Issue
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